The Lyric Stage Company second offering in its 2009-2010 Season is Dead Man’s Cell Phone, an avante garde little piece about a woman’s journey into the life of a complete stranger by taking possession of his cell phone in a café after his untimely death.  The Lyric’s intimate space was well utilized, lighting was effective and thought provoking, and the costume plot was comfortingly monochromatic- but that is about all I can say I liked about this unfortunate production.

It isn’t that I blame the actors for the dull, disjointed, dialog and mechanical, completely unnatural interactions, but all six of them looked or sounded foolish at one point or another during this long, long stretch of two hours.  The acting of Liz Hayes, Neil McGarry, Beth Gotha, Jessica D. Turner, Jeff Mahoney, and Bryn Jameson wasn’t awful- I just couldn’t concentrate on their developing characters because the show itself was so vapid.  Why would a stranger pick up a dead person’s cell phone?  Why would the loved ones of that dead person invite a stranger into their home?  How could two people possibly fall in love bonding over paper products after knowing each other for fifteen minutes? And if those people claimed to be in love, wouldn’t one try a little harder to convince the other not to keep a cell phone that was involved with the trafficking of human organs?  Yes, that’s right- our friend, Gordon, the dead man, was a black market organ trafficker. Only it wasn’t a secret to anyone in his family.  No, I’m not kidding.  All of these questions could and should have been answered by a better playwright, but I think Sarah Ruhl falls on her face here, asking the audience to go on a journey she doesn’t prepare them for.  The two dimensional characters possess no nuance, no subtlety, and no likability.  Ruhl was trying too hard to make this show new and different and exciting, and ended up making it outlandish and dull.

I was unpleasantly surprised to discover that the opening monologue of the second act is a beyond-the-grave diatribe by none other than Gordon himself, but he isn’t talking about his work, or even his connections to dead loved ones, no- he’s talking about soup.  Seriously.  Soup.  Don’t get me wrong, I’ve seen and liked unusual theatre.  I’m perfectly alright with getting on board for a strange trip, but this trip wasn’t just strange, it was poorly written and substandardly executed.  Not only did I feel no sympathy for any of the characters and their actions, I was also hoping that more than one of them ended up dead by the end.  It was that bad.  I would never, under and circumstance, recommend anyone see this show.

I’m not sure I understand why the Lyric Stage Company, a company that I have long admired for fun and inventive shows, would choose to add this dud of a show to their season.  During the curtain call, I heard no shortage of disgruntled moans, and on the way out the door, a fellow reviewer commented that my friend’s boots were the most enjoyable thing she had seen all day- ouch.  I’m really hoping they can regain some of their dignity with their November/December selection, Shipwrecked! An Entertainment- The Amazing Adventures of Louis de Rougement as Told by Himself (even the title of that is more entertaining than the show I just saw, so they are off to a good start).

All that’s left of Gordon’s life is his cell phone.